|Experience of God on the 28rd of October 1980|
The following experiences of Carl Welkisch were taken from the book In the Spiritual Fire of God.
Holy Week 1935
Then, on the Monday of Holy Week, early in the morning about five-thirty, before the noise of the awakening house (note: Breslau prison) grew stronger, a God-experience occurred with such overwhelming greatness and penetration that it will remain eternally unforgettable for me. – Quite suddenly I found myself sitting on the lap of a powerful and perfect figure of a man, but much larger than human size. I looked up into its majestic countenance – God the Father.
Holiness and omnipotence were what most strongly emanated from HIM; however, it was the loving, personal God who spoke to me. With the same loving understanding that Christ showed on the 14th of December 1934, God the Father explained to me that I absolutely had to go to Berlin even also to the terrible prison (note: concentration camp at the Columbia House); it would not be spared me. HE made me feel that HE deeply understood me in my suffering and in my fear of this unreasonable demand. However, out of HIS wisdom HE would still have to require this difficult task from me, and I should decide voluntarily to do it. According to the order that HE gave HIS creation, certain workings of God in humanity could only take place through the intermediation of human beings, from persons who would completely devote themselves to the streaming-in of God. The adversary, too, could only work through persons who were compliant to him. In the great conflict between the power of divine love and the satanic will to destroy, both sides had often, throughout history, used human beings as a tool. However, here the inner working of divine love usually would remain hidden. Now Hitler was my counterpole, and overcoming Nazi tyranny would from now on require my stay in the middle of this earthly hell for a longer period of time. At the same time, corresponding to the spiritualisation of my natural person, HE wanted to retrieve and steer what happened in the material world more and more with HIS love.
... Then suddenly I am granted the highest grace: in the deepest despair I see God the Father and feel how HIS being penetrates me from the inside into my physical person and in such a way, that all physical senses and each single cell of the body consciously takes part in it. Absolutely no experience can be clearer or more conscious. It is so powerful and so completely certain for the person into the matter-spirits of his body that God insofar is also man as HE has complete understanding for us humans down to the last emotion. But there is still a clear difference between the being human of God the Father and the human essence of Christ, a difference for which there are no words, so that I cannot even suggest it.
Gothenburg, the 4th of January 1940
Today the divine voice spoke to me:
Take up your pencil and write! – Write, that I gave you suffering like sand at the seaside – suffering which no man can comprehend. Every hour of your life was saturated with anguish and torment. And all that for those neglectful people who have forgotten ME, their God, for those who feel at home in this world, for those who know nothing more of their spiritual descent and who are otherwise not to be saved!
Experience on the 23rd of May 1944
Today the divine voice spoke:
There is a great difference between you and all other mystics. I alone have been affecting everything in you from early youth on, only from the inside, but into the most external aspect. That is why you could never do much from the outside; it was almost never allowed. This development, alone from the inside, is felt by you to be especially difficult because with it every own activity of the natural person must be suppressed, and the person feels himself to be inhibited in every direction. Other mystics had a certain satisfaction in their many exercises, chastening and similar efforts in that it seemed to them that they themselves contributed something to their development. But here, in your case, I am the ONE WHO is acting for everything; you yourself can do nothing with regard to it. However, you feel MY working in your body so intensely that through this now a completely new condition has arisen for you.
5th of May
I had been completely at the end of my strength and saw no possibility of continuing to live further … I was reading in Seuse’s writings. Then a God-union overcame me and raised me up into a powerful experience. I did not suspect that it was to prepare me in a special way for the radical and sudden change of my situation, for such sublime consolations always have a general validity as well:
All that has overcome you and will still come, comes from ME, nothing happens to you that is not MY will. Therefore, submit yourself to it, then I will help you to bear it.
Weidenberg, the 4th of September 1948
Today God showed me once again that HE HIMSELF exclusively leads me directly through my earthly life, without the mediation of heaven:
I have been the leader of your life from childhood on. Your whole being was already made ready to take up ME, the Almighty God into it. That is the reason for the purification suffering. Thus, I create for ME in you a vessel and a form in order to have an effect on humanity in a new, more comprehensive order and to ultimately save it from the fetters of matter.
Meran, Whitsun 1970
A few days ago I again had an encounter with God the Father in person. I saw HIM standing before me. HE embraced me and pressed me closely against HIS heart, but HE remained silent. Now, however, I heard HIS voice:
You take it hard that you still are only so seldom permitted to make an outward impact. Only in the extensive practice of the Breslau years did you have many great healing successes, often spontaneous healing as well, but since then they hardly ever occur. When you hear of instances of miracle healing, which I effectuate through so many evangelists or in so many places of pilgrimage, then you suffer from the fact that the same may not happen with you and that since your imprisonment you stand before the world as so helpless, yes incapable. But that must be so. I must keep you in a state of passiveness which you feel as quite negative because you know that working in authority conveys a feeling of highness. For that which I want to accomplish through you, however, you must be empty of all own desire, empty of any activity of your own. Only in complete humility can you be the instrument through which I spiritualise the body and the spheres of the external world corresponding to it and lead it back to the divine.
Fidaz near Flims, the 24th of July 1970
Here in 1939 a children’s home was buried by an avalanche, 13 children and 5 adults died. On the boulder under which 4 children are still buried, a hall was erected with memorial stones and a semicircular forecourt with a low stone wall. I had a moving God-experience here already on the 22nd of June 1963.
When we enter the forecourt today, it seems to me as if I were entering into an enormous cathedral. The heavens open, and I hear choirs of angels singing. Then a powerful roar arises and I hear the voice of God the Father like a thunder echoing through all of the heavens and the worlds:
Whatever God ordains is right!
My whole being is radiated by God with such a force that I am no longer a human being, but rather have been elevated into the divine and unified with God.
The burial of my father (1907) is called by God to my mind, to which the teachers of the whole county had gathered to honour their colleague and where this song was sung. As I tell this to the people accompanying me, God the Father plunges into me and speaks:
It is like the song says. I gave you this consolation already back then when your father died. Remember finally: I am Love! What I ordain is right, even if you cannot comprehend it. Do you know what earthly misery I spare those whom I suddenly take away? I am your father and do only the best for each one. You cannot comprehend MY wisdom, that is why you should look up to ME in humility and gratitude.